The 'Avoids' in Your Copy

• Being Too Broad

I've seen people writing copy that makes me sit there thinking what do they do. Or take forever to get to the point. When writing copy, you want to be direct and precise with your messaging. Clearly communicate the value you provide and avoid unnecessary fluff that dilutes your message.

❌Example:
Dear Business Owner of Dulcy.io

Do you find your website is underperforming and hampering your business profits? Are you looking for professional help to boost website traffic?

Every business wants to stand towards the front position of their competitors. Well, it is not possible when your website has Wrong target audience, outdated design, slow page loading, bad user experience, terrible navigation, 404 errors & bugs, Unresponsiveness to mobile users etc.

If this is something you are interested in, then allow me to send you a NO- OBLIGATION AUDIT REPORT.

Best Regards
Sophia Martina
Web Expert

PS1. If you are interested, then reply to us "Send the Proposal & References".

• Lying

It's never a good idea to lie whether in your copy or on a call. If you are just starting out it may seem tempting to lie about a case study or result or twist of the truth. Overall, it is just not worth it.

• Links/HTML

This is more about the generic cold email deliverability rules. Don't include links (at scale) or fancy signatures or different logos in your email. Just not worth the risk.

• Long Copy

Humans have just about a 8 second attention span. We strive to get our emails as close to >50 words as possible. Now, this doesn't mean it's bad if you have a little longer then that. But, as a general guide people tend to not read blocks of texts from a random email that they get thousands of per day.

Example:

• Spam Words

Eliminating spam words from your copy is best practice before you send to thousands of people. Using tools likeemailguard.io and mailmetor.com give you a good insight on what words will be picked up by spam filters. Even, words you wouldn't think or isn't being used in that spam way might still get picked up.

• Not Relevant

If you've been watching me for a while you know my 2 biggest things in cold email. One of them being having the most targeted leads. Relevancy is becoming increasingly important. So make sure who you're sending to can ACTUALLY benefit from your offer.

• No personalization

With cold email becoming harder over this year, personalization is going to be a big factor going into 2025. When used properly (not saying I saw you go to xyz college) you can really differentiate yourself from everybody else.

Example:

Dear , 

Greetings of the day!

Are you looking for a top Mobile App Development Company?

Mobile App Development Services (Android, iPhone/iOS and iPad) at Affordable Rates.

• Ineffective Subject lines

Don't over think this step too much. Even some of the basic "quick question", "{FIRST_NAME}?" still work best.

Subject Lines That Actually Get Opened in B2B Cold Email - YouTube

• No Online Presence

What happens if you look your name or company up? To be honest, the first thing I do when I get a cold email that is somewhat interesting I copy and paste their domain. Make sure AT LEAST you have a presentable landing page, over time you will be building up your social proof so the search engine will be picking up more over time.

• Overthinking

This might be one of the biggest and it is not talked about enough. Some people spend a lot of time overthinking trying to figure out the "perfect" way to do things. There is not a perfect way to do it. I know because this is my biggest weakness, spending hours trying to make sure its right when it would be more valuable to figure it out and see what worked vs didn't work.

• Fake Lead Magnets (non-tangible)

Offering a free 30 call with you that is worth $4995, is not going to work out.. When you offer something for free it has to be actually tangible (e.g. free leads). The point of the magnet is to offer something for free that others would pay for. Free product page design, free ad creatives, free demo of a software. Don't offer something like a free applications or free video explaination.

• "Would I?" Response

This can help make or break your cold email campaigns. I always like to tell myself when writing scripts, "Would I respond to this?". It's that simple. Imagine yourself in the position of your target audience and read your own email, pretend your super busy checking your emails really quickly. Even send yourself a test email. Read the first sentences and access, "should I keep reading?" if so, when you get to your CTA, is it convincing enough to make yourself say, I am going to respond to this email (hopefully positively!).

Pain Point + CTA

Example:

Hey {FIRST_NAME} - {relevant first line or fall back line}

If I could help {insert messaging about how you help}, is that something you’d be interested in hearing more about?

Pain Point + CTA + PS

Example:

Hey {FIRST_NAME} - {relevant first line}

{Messaging}

Specifically, I think it could help you {AI generated line about how this company could use your services based on what the company does and the prospects role}

If we could help you {solution}, would that be useful?

Signature

P.S. {AI generated analogy}

Pain Point + Evidence + CTA

Example:

Hey {FIRST_NAME} - {relevant first line}

I recently just helped {case study} accomplish {outcome} and I think we could do something similar for you.

Could I show you how it works?

Personalization + Pain Point + Half-Solution + CTA

Example:

Hey {FIRST_NAME} let me know if {full name employee 1} or {full name employee 2} would be better to speak to about this.

I had 3 ideas about how we could specifically help over at {COMPANY]

{idea 1}
{idea 2}
{idea 3}

Do any of these look like a fit we could discuss with your team?

Want cold email done for you?

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Let's set up a free outbound strategy audit.

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